Let’s be real for a moment. No one expects to find their soulmate in a strip club. There are two things than gentlemens club patrons know

• Men love strip clubs and they have strip club fantasies. They may be quick to say I will never date a stripper but secretly they wonder if they are even capable of wooing an exotic dancer?
• Strippers are just ordinary people who happen to make a living by taking their clothes off and dancing on stage. They have families, children, mortgages, car payments and they shop at the same stores as everyone else. If you never met one fully kitted out with the heels and everything, you would not be quick to assume she’s as stripper – just a hot chick you happen to be attracted to.

If you are lucky enough to catch the attention of a stripper, there are a couple of misconceptions and stereotypes you should know and disregard. The trick is to be real. It might be hard to find sincerely in an environment where looks and money are primary concerns.

Being open-minded can help. Don’t make assumptions about stripper you meet. Being a stripper does not make a girl a super sexual freak or make her promiscuous. There are other ways of making money but do consider that the stripper chooses to dance because that’s the best way for her to make money. She is no one slave and doesn’t need to be rescued. Accept her as she is, thongs, stripper heels and all. For most girls, stripping is a means to an end. They may be trying to pay their way through school, they may be the sole breadwinners in their families, they may have kids they are trying to save money for their kids. With unemployment and other economic problems, some clever enterprising girls choose to work harder as strippers.

Understand what you are getting yourself into

Are you the jealous type? If you are, then dating a stripper can be extra hard. Strippers in a gentlemens club get attention from all kinds of men. They thrive off it and encourage it. If you are going to have a problem with your girlfriend openly flirting with other men or gyrating on strange men’s laps then don’t date a stripper.

You might think that you are the one she’ll leave it all for. Remember, a stripper does what she does for money she is not looking for a knight in shining armor to save her. If your intentions are to change her, you will be disappointed.

Guys think of strippers as these mythical creatures that smile, dance and tease you until your wallet is empty. They are not sirens, they are real human beings. They are regular girls who want to be desired, loved and taken care of. They want the same things every regular girl wants in a relationship.

Here are some tips to help you have a real and meaningful relationship with a stripper

• Remember that she is a normal human being, treat her well
• Don’t be weird about her work or judgmental about what she does
• Respect the boundaries she has
• Talk to her like you would talk to any other female when you are around people
• Remember that she might not be looking for a savior; she might love the job she is doing
• She might be comfortable with customers looking at her like a sex object but you shouldn’t do the same
• She isn’t going to be your own personal stripper available at your own whim
• Kindness will get you far

Every dancer is just that: a performer who is using her body to express herself. She is a woman who is just as sensitive as any other woman. She might have to be tough because of the kind of the jerks she has to interact with every night. She wants to be loved and cared for like any other woman. She might appreciate some genuine kindness.

Yesenia Butler